It is difficult for me to believe that Saturday is going to be the 4th of July. My life is unrecognizable when I attempt to look back twelve months, much less 18 or 24. I still have hope. I still have joy. But so much is so different. I am truly sorry for the things I took for granted, but with each quiet moment I am making peace with permanent losses so I can be prepared for the opportunities that I know lie ahead.
This week was a demanding week for me. I face challenges with life balance on a regular basis, but I don’t think there have been any weeks when I faced so many major losses and challenges in every direction. My family is dealing with the second death in as many months, a good friend’s son had a major auto accident, another friend died suddenly, and the kids’ schools were in lock down. I have had these things happen before, but not all in the same week. I am really thankful for the diversion I have had practicing with my Copics. I wish there had been more time, but it helped me calm down and focus and I did not realize how much I needed that.
Turning forty gave me an amazing clarity and urgency about the practice of living out my priorities, just like the video. A week ago, I was in Louisiana with my family. It was another of those situations, exactly like Las Vegas, when I was in the exact place where I needed to be. I got the chance to spend time with so many people in my family who I really needed to spend time with. One of them is no longer with us and I’m working out my feelings about that. Obviously I am grieving, but I am also extremely thankful and joyful to have been blessed with the opportunity to speak with him one last time. I know it’s cliche’ to say to tell people you love them because you never know if that will be the last time you see them, but it is still true.