I had a very light jacket, sunblock and a hat blocking out the sun on my walk today, and I am on the hunt for shaved ice. Yesterday I made and bottled simple syrup to have on hand for lemonade, limeade, tea, etc. I almost can not believe that I had a coat on last weekend in the cold, cold rain, but I should be glad it was not snow because that has happened in June in the Pacific Northwest.
Sometimes I get these cauliflower products or recipes and they are delicious, like cauliflower pizza crust. Sometimes, though, even with my best culinary attempts, the best I can come up with is well roasted, seasoned, tasty, well, cauliflower. Today was a yummy, roasted, cheesy cauliflower day. There was a time when I would have tried to force myself to taste something that was not there, denying to the end that it tasted like what it was because there had to have been something wrong with me when there is nothing wrong. Sometimes cauliflower tastes like what it is. It can’t taste stellar all of the time, can it? I wish it could, but would I recognize the pizza deliciousness if it was all that I had? Maybe life is like that, too.
Today was my family’s 26th day of social distancing ourselves. I miss my people. I miss meeting new people. I miss my old routines. I miss my children’s old routines that were a part of my routines. I know that someone is being helped because we are not going to all of the places we usually would go (maybe that someone is us), but yesterday and today have been the days when I have had to give myself some grace because I have had to have a few moments of silence and prayer and grief and breathing and writing my thoughts down about things I need to change so I don’t find myself feeling this way the next time my life goes through a major disruption.
I took one last look at it before I put it away. I thought about the person I was back then and how I can be kinder to the person in my new passport because I cannot love anyone else well unless I love myself well.