Sometimes I wish I could call my Dad up and ask him about stuff going on in my life. He was a very good person to go to for advice. He was very smart. He told me so many things that I have carried with me all of these years. About working hard. About the friends I chose. About managing money. We did not always get along, I think because we are both very strong willed people. I just wish I could call him up now, but I can not. As sad as I am, I guess I am thankful that I have something to miss, even though it really hurts.
A lot of things have happened since May. My father died in May and I am still processing the loss. I got the opportunity to see him and talk to him and thank him for everything he did for me and my siblings so I am grateful for that. Every holiday since then has not been the same and his birthday was particularly difficult. I am being honest about my feelings and taking time away when I need to. I think part of that has come as a result of the process of coping with all of the things that have been happening since the pandemic.
At the end of 2019, I felt like maybe I was was standing close to the edge of a cliff. I was in the process of making updates on our house so that we could then put it on the market. In my mind , the plan was to fix everything up during the Winter and Spring and possibly Summer and move during the Summer so my kids could finish their school year. I’m so thankful God had other plans that included us moving early, because I could not imagine having to be a two household household during COVID like we had been for almost two years prior. Sometimes, though, when I think about all of the challenging situations that went on this past year (like navigating this real estate market – a moment of silence – *whew*), I think I’m on the other side, but I am regularly checking the ground around me.
One thing I am sure about, though, is that I am living my life with an urgency and a respect for every opportunity with an equal respect for the importance of taking care of myself and those around me.