Tonight.

I put the baby in the bed next to me because he was having a hard time falling asleep. Usually I put him on the bed next to me, he snuggles next to me and goes to sleep. Then I put him in his crib. Usually I look up into the ceiling and think about the things that went on during the course of the day, and by the time my thoughts have run their course, the baby has nodded off.

I think it was because he snuggled up against my stomach, but I thought about how a year ago, give or take a few days, he was on the other side of things. Kicking me very hard and making me intensely wish that he was on the outside, yet dreading the process by which he would get here. After all, we had just completed a record breaking heat wave and the only thing I could think of that would be worse than oven heat, was oven heat and labor. Blech. I am so thankful he was born at night, when things are cooler. He was my fourth kid. In a one or two kid society. I still welcomed him and am so glad that he is mine.