Choosing Excellence

I came across a reading about allowing those things into my life and into my family’s life that are truly excellent. Not popular. Not stylish. Not accepted or praised by society, but truly excellent, in line with what is best for us. It seemed like an amazing theme to me because I’ve been sorting through the things in my life that I need to let go of. Having a kid makes you take inventory like that. So does having kids who are starting school. What stuff stays and what stuff goes. In the closets. In the bookshelves. In life.

Just as I was taking stock of all of that stuff, I came across the report on Primetime tonight about HIV and AIDS in the black community. I’ve done peer counseling training and work way back in my past that specialized in HIV/AIDS prevention and assisting those who had been diagnosed towards resources that would help them live with HIV and AIDS. The report talked about the war on drugs and the increase in incarceration as a result. It spoke to the down low phenomenon (well, at least the part about men getting down with men. anybody who knows me knows that I think there is enough hetero down low behavior causing HIV and other STDs). It even mentioned, in passing, the misogyny and acceptance of promiscuity on the part of popular culture. The fact that governments and celebrities don’t address the crisis here was also highlighted.

What of encouraging young African American men, when they are young, to pursue avenues that won’t lead them down the road to crime? What of empowering young women to choose men who aren’t rough around the edges, but responsible men who want to care for their wives and families? What of encouraging sensitive young men to treat women with respect, rather than villify them for being soft? What of acknowledging the fact that when we encourage our sons with a wink and a nod to be a player, we are encouraging our daughters to be played? We need to choose excellence for ourselves and our children in this area, too. At least, that’s what I think as I get ready for back to school and ponder the legacy I leave for my children and theirs.