When I heard these words a few months ago, I thought they were a bit extreme, but lately, I have come across a lot of individuals whose words and actions seem to beg for an appointment with a motorola, sidekick, treo, nokia or whatever sturdy device is handy. I don’t know if they are smoking crack or if they have brain damage, but their actions are really really in need of the clarity that can be brought about by receiving the repeated strong and swift blows that a cell phone can provide. Some phones and pdas may be sacrificed, oh, but the cause is so worthy.
Sara Susannah Katz. And her ex husband Craig.
Okay, I read her column Single in the Suburbs about her dating adventures and child rearing experiences in the aftermath of her divorce. She and her husband are good friends after the divorce and it really smarts her that he’s pretty much nailed everything with a pulse since they separated, which sometimes happens. She’s also made some questionable calls on her previous dates and such. However, I think she has earned the phone whooping award for her handling of the situation in this post.
Her husband is dating a 24 year old who he just got back with. The 24 year old wants to take her daughter school shopping. In the past the 14 year old daughter has called in tears because the girlfriend, who is a size 0, takes her shopping, gets items the girl can’t fit and tries them on, which messes with her self esteem. Now the 24 year old wants to take her shopping again and promises to behave. DA HELL? Does she want her daughter to end up like this woman because not only is she dealing with the pressure of unrealistic body standards, but her own potential stepmother is screwing with her? And I know her father is most likely WHIPPED, but what kind of man does this to his own daughter? She should have told her “friendly ex husband” no to the skinny ho. Moving right along.
David Henry Tuck. Just read this. Maybe they could use one of those huge five pound cell phones from the early 80s on him, cause it’s just ridiculous.
Somebody dig up J. Edgar Hoover, beat him with a cell phone, and put him back in his grave, cause this stuff looks right up his alley. Yeah, he was dead when it happened, but like I said, he set the foundation for this kind of thing happening.
And last, but not least… the US government for not ensuring that reservists have jobs when they serve multiple times in Iraq because of stop loss orders and other heartwarming policies.
Runners up would have to include any democrat responsible for putting Murtha in a leadership position given his ethics issues, not to mention putting more money into campaigning and winning more of the house and senate, but I must save more for next week, and the democrats and republicans will most likely give me plenty of arm exercise in the future…
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